Friday, October 7, 2011
Note Cards Story
One day in an underwater restaurant located off the coast of Afghanistan an evil octopus stole the beloved teddy bear of teddy the turtle, stuffed a bomb into the teddy bear, and handed it back to the unsuspecting baby turtle. Jonsey, a bomb diffuser from America was scuba diving and saw it all happen. So Jonsey swims over to the turtle pulls the teddy bear away from him, and throws it at the fleeing octopus. It explodes on contact but it turns out it was a nuke and it blows up everyone within 1,000 miles. And they all lived happily ever after.
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This has a good set up for rising action. Remember that a hook is just an introduction, though. It is something that makes a reader want to continue reading. The "happily ever after" ending turns this hook into a short (very short!) story, and so the reader would be unable to continue. Consider where you could "break" this paragraph so that the reader has a chance to ask, "what happens next?"
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, if everyone one "lived happily ever after" upon being nuked to oblivion, this could open up some interesting possibilities. It could lead to stories of these people as spirits, and how they are reacting to their deaths. What might their lives have been like if death was such a relief? This is certainly something that could be turned into a hook statement at the end of your introduction.